Fear Factor

Halloween frights may not be the only reason your children avoid the basement. Local experts show how you can help them prevent and cope with irrational fears—and where you can take them in 417-land to face what scares them.

These days, adults lie awake at night, gripped in terror, contemplating the horrors that will befall us: frightening gas prices, a sickly economy, monstrous environmental concerns. We long for the days of childhood fears, of ghosts and goblins and bugs and storms. But for children—small, dependent and inexperienced—fear is a common emotion. It helps them to understand when to be cautious and serves as a guiding compass toward safety and health—a survival technique.

Most children pass through different fears as they grow older, says Dr. Glenna Weis, the Director of Child and Adolescent Cluster at the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology. It’s normal for an infant to fear loud noises and immediate separation from a caregiver. Toddlers may become wary of looming objects, animals and strangers. Around age 6, children’s fears broaden into ghosts and the boogieman. “Fear develops as creativity and imagination develop,” says Dr. Weis.

But like all emotions, fear can go awry. It can become debilitating and irrational, a phobia that interferes with your child’s daily functioning. “It becomes a problem if [children] get stuck,” says Dr. Weis. “If they aren’t leaving that stage and moving on.”

Tips for the Timid A list of do’s and don’ts for parents of children with fears. Do: • Understand that fears are a normal part of child development. • Treat your child’s fear with understanding and empathy. • Allow your child to have a coping device, whether it’s a well-worn blanket or a stuffed teddy bear (just don’t encourage them to take the coping device everywhere). • Keep your body language calm and relaxed around your child. • Consult a pediatrician for medically based advice. Don’t: • Avoid the fear. It will only reinforce your child’s behavior. • Trivialize and belittle your child’s fear. • Be dishonest to yourself and family. Kids are perceptive and can create fears to distract from something going on at home (i.e. divorce, neglect). • Try to control your children’s fears. Instead, teach them that they have the power to control it. • Baby your children. It will only show them that they are incapable. —Melody Adams

Fortunately for parents and children, there are several ways to approach a child’s fear before it turns into a phobia. Simply identifying and acknowledging it is a big step. With a little help, children can face their fears without so much as a whimper—just in time for Halloween. And 417-land has plenty of resources for the patient parent.

Fear of Strangers: Xenophobia

Age Group: 7–12 months
About the Fear: Most children younger than 1 are generally afraid of strangers, but as they get older, their fear stems from the inability to decipher harmful strangers from friendly ones. Telling your children not to talk to strangers may confuse them, says Dr. Weis. If they start to lose social contact, then the fear needs to be addressed.
How to Help: Parks and playgrounds provide new faces and social interaction. Introduce your child to a stranger (at your discretion), and help them to get acquainted with meeting new people. Make sure to teach your children boundaries, so they know how they should behave (and be treated by) the stranger, says Dr. Weis. There are plenty of parks and places to get outside and interact in 417-land. Visit the Springfield–Greene County Park Board website (parkboard.org) for ideas, or start in downtown Springfield at Jordan Valley Park, where there’s a fountain and fun public art to keep the kids entertained. Jordan Valley Park, 635 E. Trafficway, Springfield, 417-864-1049

Fear of the Dark: Achluophobia

Age Group: 2–3 years
About the Fear: Being afraid of the dark can often be a result of a new situation. If your family has just moved, or your child has been relocated within the house, the fear may stem from unrecognizable surroundings. Local clinical psychologist Dr. Charles Watson says that talking about an irrational fear with your child is a significant step. Ask what they think is hiding in the dark when the lights are turned off, but don’t trivialize or ridicule their answer.
How to Help: Local 417-land lighting stores can provide temporary fixes, such as nightlights and dimmer switches. Parents and children can also take a walking tour of the room and point out objects that may be intimidating in the dark (i.e. dresser, pile of toys, closet), which can help your child rationalize the fear.

Fear of Animals/Spiders: Zoophobia/Arachnophobia

Age Group: 3–5 years
About the Fear: It might seem irrational to fear the family dog, but a child’s anxiety around animals and bugs will only increase if left untreated. Or worse, one fear could manifest into another, says Dr. Weis. For example, if your fearful child saw a spider in the bathroom, he may refuse to go near the bathroom again. “Share with your child that you are still afraid of things, but you still do them,” Dr. Weis says.
How to Help: Taking your children to a zoo (Dickerson Park Zoo, 3043 North Fort, Springfield, 417-864-1800, dickersonparkzoo.org) or to a pet store is a good idea, as long as you don’t force them into interacting with the animals. “Make sure your kid understands they have power,” Dr. Weis says. Teach the children how to ask for a pet owner’s permission, to approach cautiously and to pet in the right places. Use yourself as a reference point. If they can’t get too close to the animal, they can return to you.

Fear of Storms: Keraunophobia

Age Group: 4–6 years
About the Fear: Dr. Watson sees a lot of children with a fear of extreme weather. And it isn’t surprising considering the type of weather 417-land has witnessed in the past year: floods, thunderstorms, tornadoes, ice storms. Many kids have developed fear because they’ve seen homes (possibly their own) damaged by severe weather. “The best thing to do is educate them,” says Dr. Watson. Help your children learn about how a tornado forms, what to do during flood conditions and how to keep themselves safe when extreme weather hits.
How to Help: Local news station websites are a great place to find kid-friendly information about the weather. KY3’s Weatherschool is a fun resource for children to learn about air pressure, cloud formations, safety precautions and more (ky3.com/weather/weatherschool). Then talk about the realities of dangerous weather with your family. “Form a safe plan for the weather,” says Dr. Watson, who suggests planning escape routes and establishing a safe room. “Make sure [your children] know they will be taken care of.”

Fear of Ghosts: Phasmophobia

Age Group: 6–8 years old
About the Fear: When kids start to fear ghosts (and monsters and other supernatural things), it’s a sign that their imaginations are growing more active. Combined with images from the media that can often be upsetting, kids take in more information than their parents can filter. “Kids pick up more than we realize, which is worse because no one is explaining it to them,” says Dr. Weis. “That can cause a lot of fears.”
How to Help: Finding activities to engage your child’s imagination in a healthy environment can help ease your child’s fear from its origin—and it could turn out to be a new hobby, too. The Springfield Art Museum offers children’s classes throughout the fall, with courses in beginning drawing and painting, pottery, comic animation and more (Springfield Art Museum, 1111 E. Brookside Dr., Springfield, 417-837-5700). And at home, make sure that your child is coming home to a positive environment, says Dr. Weis. “Kids handle fears well if they have positive self esteem,” she says.